Words Never Been Said

   Some of my female friend shared with me some thoughts today...is it hard to get out the memory hole made by yourself?...or is it your will of not willing to get out....somethings are difficult for somebody...myself included...today I felt the one thing fading away...one gorgeous smile...

   My second best female friend told me today...her "times" weren't better than mine...having greatest memory but leaving so soon she said...I agree with her very much...time flies too fast and so fast...now it has been a year since...my biggest world war...having to face the reality of suffer and pain...to hear one sentence shoot through my head...do you agree the deeper you dig...the harder to get out?...so far...I couldn't find my ladder...

   "You may not be my goddess, but I am still a believer"

   Everything has its time...as like my bestest friend said..."why don't we accept it with joy and let it go with greatest appreciations"...no sorrows no game...but as my second best friend said..."these isn't a game but a test"...to this day...last tear will drop...holding my last miracle...just hoping someday sometime it would happen again...those feelings one more time...

   I guess my predictions today are wrong...I thought something terrible would happen in front of me today...but maybe I tried to hide away from it...or just no gonna come today but someday later...

   Today I remembered those time...of joy up as high as L7...to feel the happiness once was living inside of me...on the wooden surface...to truly understand that feeling...now today but the past of July is where it all ends...

   One morning call, a call of end, I ran away, because I could not accept, off I took, on the no end road, but I wish this would happen on me, for a no end journey, still nothing could be changed, so I kept on riding, from 2 to 10, non-stop paddle, I couldn't cry nor laugh, a pale face of sorrow, I finally stopped, somewhere in nowhere...

   I slept under the stars, up up very high, twinkle and twinkle, as if they cry for me too, the moon is a quarter, as if represents my chance, only one billion in one, that's still my chance, the winds blew on me, as if they tried to comfort me, to say this isn't everything, a slight chance awaits, here came the leaves, rolling across me to the tree, as if to let me know, everything is a cycle...

   Dawn came up, bright and comfy, also trying to tell me, to move on my way, back I road on the no end road, then I wish this would happen on me again, back on my no end journey again, but the moon already told me the answer, only a slight chance at hand, I didn't care no nothing, just looking again for my journey once more...

   Past of me I was stubborn.....stupid.....

   Present of me I am a idiot.....couldn't face reality

   Future of me I will someday sometime somehow be awake.....

   Tomorrow's day I have did something bad and stupid...something no body would rather do for...for something called "feeling"...

   The past of tomorrow I escaped the horror of truth...thinking for three days in the outside world...well actually in a park...

   Tomorrow's today I have had a vision...something terrible would happen...for I would probably cry for days and days...but a sentence struck out of me...

   The present of tomorrow I maybe would face the true horror of destroy...later just seeking for a shelter to hide...and sob to my last tears...

   Tomorrow's days I have would perhaps willing to accept the fate for my life...the truth which I struggle between yes or no...

   The future of tomorrow I stick with my words...being the best pair to fly solo...if that's what you want me to do...being only free wings...

This is a computer drawing of me. It took me quite a while to make this picture because it's hard for me to draw on the computer. You can picture this portrait of me after taking a morning shower on Saturday morning. Also this could be a picture of me that I haven't dried my hair yet. A word of advice, don't you ever see me nor my hair when I just got up. It might scare you.

From James Bond to The Rock, he played many great movies for us. Do you know the is the one who acted the first 007 movies? He is the one!Though we are very sorry to hear him announce his retirement. He is now 76 years old and quite some age for an actor.Connery will also be recieving his Lifetime Achievment Aware, which of course he should earn it. The actor needs a surgery in January to remove a kidney tumor. His future plans right now include writing a few books and enjoying his retirement. He also plans to be a writer in the later years after he retire. Good luck to him!

Recently, that strange feeling of mine began to fade away. A puzzled and sour heart removed away from me without noticing that it's gone. Maybe it's that my last piece of puzzle was found and those answers told. Although I still sometimes would act weird but somehow there's sometime keeping me up and not going too crazy and weird.

"For all the things I have done, no more confuse completly none,
question asked answers told, a chance is given for you to hold."

Now I'm having a feeling that I had felt before, a bit sweet but not too sweet, it's just like a lollypop, you need to lick to taste the sweet, if you don't, you would taste nothihng but nothing. I have a way to relax and not do weird and crazy things. I found out writing a letter and talking to someone feel quite better. After all, life isn't always the way you want it to be like, right?

"Friends come and go, dreams turn and blow,
when there's a fight there's a will, my will is to hold and stay still."

"A boy is depress, waiting for another chance,
seeing the truth in blind, trying to uncover and find."

For the last few days I had been in a terrible mood. Something is bothering me and it's not something easy. A feeling never been felted before. A sour and puzzled heart. In a way of sadness that can go on for days and weeks. Sour of questions, puzzled by answers. I think the one way to cure this is to find a final piece to the puzzle. <-------(heart) A piece of puzzle only can be found by answers to some questions. Waiting for answer from morning to dawn, even at home in front of the phone. Days passed very quickly, leaving away from a special day only happened once in a year, and on that day is the day I started feeling depress, of a truth not being known clearly, hidden far away from me. Only two person in the world can help me to find this last piece of the puzzle. A girl and a boy close to me, but now it's not a concern to me anymore. I guess the truth will stay in a mistery for me that a misterious heart will born from it.....>